Not goodbye forever...

just until next time.

So after some 30 hours of traveling, Lindy and I made it to our final respective destinations: Richmond, VA and Myrtle Beach, SC. It was nice to spend a week with my family at the beach before I pack up and move yet again.

Today was my first and last Sunday back at church here in Martinsville. It was so wonderful to spend time with my church family and be able to share my experiences with them and see how happy they were that I had a great time and was back with them safely. Although I must admit it is sad to come back and know tomorrow I will be moving back to Charlottesville. I never feel like I have enough time with the people I love most. Don't get me wrong there are a ton of people in Charlottesville that I feel the same way about, especially when it comes time for summer to start and I have to say goodbye. I don't know what I am going to do when I graduate.

So where do I begin? Since I last wrote two weeks have passed which have included my final week in the Czech Republic as well as a trip to the beach with my family. I must confess that I was heart broken to have to leave Lovosice and all of the wonderful people I have met along the journey. Thankfully Lindy and I were able to let go a little bit at a time. By this I mean we were able to say goodbye to people gradually in that each day there were one or two people that we would be seeing for the last time instead of having to say goodbye to everyone at once. I think for me it made things a lot easier.

We spent the last week teaching our final English classes while being double booked for lunches and dinners. So many members of the church wished to have us in their home that Pastor Radaek said he had to say no to people because we didn't have enough time. It was really a blessing to feel so loved even when most of the memebers had not had a real chance to meet us and get to know us. It made me feel like I was back at home with my own church family.

Radaek and our host family did their best in keeping us very busy that last week. We were able to visit a near by town to get gifts for our family and friends and also visit a castle as well as a final trip to Praha. I enjoyed my typical morning breakfast of yogurt and bread with honey every morning. I swear I think it tasted better that whole week than it did the entire trip! I just tried my best to take in everything a little more knowing it would be the final week.

The castle we visited was actually castle ruins, but it was a fun hike especially since we did it on our last day. The trip to Praha was amazing. We went with three of the guys from church who spoke English very well. They were all in my English class. They were hilarious and SO MUCH fun to hang out with. I will miss them all terribly. The morning we left there were many tears. I stayed composed until Luky, the youngest, started to cry and then yep, I lost it. I'm sure Lindy will agree with me when I say that the plane rides home were a bit lonesome. I have never been good with goodbyes.

As you can read it was an amazing, but also a very emotional week for me. I have been working through a lot of things that have happened to me especially in these past few years, so I made up my mind to really try and use my time in the Czech Republic to really focus on some of those things. So, as you can imagine, it is difficult to know that that time comes to an end and that you must return to the reality of what life is when you live it on a regular day to day basis especially having to return to everything you left behind to work through while you are away. When you are able to have an escape it is hard to face the fact that you have to return and I think how you are able to handle that return determines the type of person you are or are capable of being. There were a lot of things I have had to wrestle with, but I am so thankful and really give thanks to God and also to myself and who God had made me to be that one, I did have this time to work through a lot of things, that even though I am back amongst this reality I still have time to continue to work out things and heal, and that now being back in the States and waiting for my return to school I know I am going back a stronger, better me. As much as I hate it, I finally realized I had to give credit to what caused my pain because without it I doubt I would be on the journey and the path I am right now in this life. I think that was the hardest reality for me to face. That out of something that was so heartbreaking could come good. It just didn't seem fair. But just because good can be found in the bad, does that mean I have to give in to the pain again and let it continually cause me heartache? No. But at last I can rest in knowing because of all this I have seen who I can be and who I do not want to be and from that I am stronger. And most importantly I am healing and though my rosey tinted glasses were once shattered, I see that life still moves forward. I see that good people, loving people like I have experienced and have come to know in the Czech Republic and here in Virginia at home, still surround me. I see that faith is what always brings me back to my God. I see that all of this, all of these wonderful people, my amazing God, they are what help me one by one pick up the pieces. And one by one we together rebuild the lenses. We rebuild that piece of me that is broken that piece that leads me to see the world and the world to see into my heart.

I guess that's the lesson of life. You just keep going. You never stop. No matter what it throws at you, you never stop. And you never let others stop you. And you stay true to yourself and you constantly redefine and better tune who you are because every experience shapes you to be who God has created. And more than anything you never hold back. You stick to your guns (that one's from Dad) and you love with everything inside of you. And when times happen where you can't feel and you are numb and just apathetic towards everything, especially things that you were once so passionate about, you rest. You break away and learn and remember who you are and that no one can take that away from you. And you take pride in who you are and who God has created. You rest and wait. Then you wake up and move foward. You keep going.

At times life is wicked and I just can't see the light
A silver lining sometimes isn't enough
To make some wrongs seem right
Whatever life brings
I've been through everything
And now I'm on my knees again

But I know I must go on
Although I hurt I must be strong
Because inside I know that many feel this way

Children don't stop dancing
Believe you can fly
Away...away

At times life's unfair and you know it's plain to see
Hey God I know I'm just a dot in this world
Have you forgot about me?
Whatever life brings
I've been through everything
And now I'm on my knees again

But I know I must go on
Although I hurt I must be strong
Because inside I know that many feel this way

Am I hiding in the shadows?
Forget the pain and forget the sorrows

But I know I must go on
Although I hurt I must be strong

I owe everything to my friends and family here at home and to the amazing people I now can call family in the Czech Republc. I thank God for everything I have come to learn this past summer. And with that I end the blogs of my adventures in the Czech Republic and I pray that it is only the ending of a chapter and the beginning of a great novel for I am here back in the States, but my heart lies in the Czech Republic, my little heaven, my fields of gold, but above all my place of peace, rest, and healing.